OR HOW TO REALIZE AND DEEPEN A LASTING POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP
MOTTO: Instead of free sex we need free love and falling in love! Different to love and falling in love, which need no restrictions, sex should always be under control!
I Protecting the treasure
II Giving to the others and further enrichment
I PROTECTING THE TREASURE
1) The primary relationship is the relationship with oneself, i.e. with one's own Self. That is the greatest treasure of each person.
The second most important relationship is the relationship with one's own polyamorous partner(s). Only the longevity of this relationship guarantees the successful realization of the primary relationship. Why?!
A person who is in conscious contact with his/her Divine Self perceives also the Divine Self of his/her partner. Therefore, for such a person it isn't difficult to accept the limitations and imperfections of their own partner. On the other hand, by accepting the limitations and imperfections of their own partner, we at the same time also overcome our own limitations and imperfections, which are like veils which cloud our view of our Self. According to this, enduring in the partnership is enduring in the relationship with one's True Self.
Judah first betrayed the Divine Life in himself and only then the other man. In order that someone could betray or leave their partner, he/she must first betray or leave the relationship with his/her higher nature. That is why each longer lasting real partnership is at the same time a method for spiritual growth and self perfection.
2) In Komaja Meditation, but also in everyday fantasies, you primarily use visualisations with your core partner.
3) You are also bound with your partner by a written love-erotic contract (for an open marriage, zajedna, etc.)
4) The responsibility for your relationship(s) is also carried by your love-erotic godfather and godmother, whom you choose from among your best friends (but not from your tantric circle).
5) The person who comes into a polyamorous relationship may in the first year be sexually active with other people of the same polyamorous milleau only with the permission of his/her partner, the godparents and the tantric master.
6) New fallings in love, encounters and adventures must never cause the neglect of the core relationship(s), and if this nevertheless happens, the new relationship should be limited or even broken on demand of the partner (this right cannot be used more often than for two persons consecutively).
7) The usual rights and freedoms should definately be limited in the case of illness, in cases of being overwhelmed with study or business, during a crisis in the relationship, as well as in other similar cases for which the partners make an arrangement.
8) The person who already has experience of one or two successful polyamorous relationships which have lasted in total at least 5 years, should definately have greater rights and freedoms in comparison to the polyamorous inexperienced and/or unsuccessful partner.
9) The polyamorous milleau of a person who breaks their own love-erotic contract because of another person or simply because of the need for unlimited sexual freedom, is obliged to declare him/her as such.
II GIVING TO THE OTHERS AND FURTHER ENRICHMENT
1) Sex can be misused (for creating addictions, for power games, for money, etc.) but it can also be used (for stress release, for expressing love and affection, for healing of the body and soul, for reaching higher states of consciousness, bliss, etc.) So only fools and unenlightened people think that sex is done when "you get a hard on" or "you get wet".
2) With training and the culture of love and falling in love towards many people, by giving oneself to others as well, we enrich and make ourselves and the others happy, and in this way also our own partner (sex with third persons, if it is done with the right motivations and in the right way, affects polyamorous "marriages" in a very inspiring way).
3) The measure of freedom of each member of the polymorous community (open marriage, Komaja's zajedna and similar) is determined by the common interest for the protection and deepening of the already existing polyamorous community.
4) The measure of freedom is also determined by the measure of the (already confirmed) ability for realization of lasting love relationships (especially parallel ones).
5) In the case of conflict concerning the measure of freedom, the advice and opinion of the love-erotic godparents should be heard, and, if necessary, also of the tantric master.
6) Meetings with third persons (when, how often, with whom, why, etc.) are considered and decisions are brought together and not each person for him/herself.
7) Freedom justifies its existence only if it refreshes and enriches the core relationship(s).
8) Freedom should be lived discretely in such a way which neither threatens the security of one's own children nor the children of others at all, and which is in accordance with the level of consciousness and the culture of the wider surroundings.
9) In cases where the relationship with one's own Self, as well as the relationship with the core partner(s) is impeccable there is, in general, no need to limit the sexual freedoms.
P.S. Because this manifesto is mainly intended for the members of polyamorous communities, whenever partner is mentioned it means all the partner(s) with whom one lives in lasting, most intimate relationship.The word "partner" is used in the text due to the need for linguistic clarity.
In devotion to the Supreme,
Rab, Island Rab, Croatia
July 21, 2006.
From the bottom of my heart I can say that it was one of the most beautiful life experiences (with the most beautiful people) and also one which has brought so many positive changes in my life. I have swallowed the Komaja book in 2 days and can now start understanding and reading it slowly again. It feels like a beginning to a new life path and with no going back to what was before.
Keeping you all in my heart with love,
— I.J., 34, Yoga-teacher, Croatia